Sex parties are common when you’re at the start of a relationship. They are often frequent and all-encompassing, with no stoppage. As time passes, things will change and sex will be positioned at the end of the priority list. Sometimes, you may even wonder if you have a normal relationship.
Here’s the opinion of experts in couple therapy.
What happens to sex in relationships?
You reach the horizontal in the first few months of a relationship. However, this does not mean you should be a sex maniac. Science is the key! Your body and that of your partner emit hormones that can lead to attachment. It is also very exciting to see each other’s bodies. It is not possible to exchange fluids at such high altitudes until you reach old age. As the relationship develops, it is natural to not have as much sex at the beginning. It does not mean you are less in love with each other. This happens because you are comfortable with each other, you share a safe relationship, and you both have a lasting emotional bond.
But, what is normal?
It is important to get rid of all the negative information you have heard about sex and what others are doing. These are subjective ideas that can have a huge impact on your perceptions of sex. Everything should be connected to you. To do this, ask the following questions:
1. What number of sex parties is enough?
2. Are I happy with the number of sex partners in my relationship?
If you answer “YES” to the second question, it doesn’t matter whether this is one per year or ten per week. It doesn’t matter if you are happy or not. If you are unhappy with the quality or quantity of sex parties you have been invited to, it’s important to discuss your expectations and needs with your partner.
I am too young to stop having sex every day!
No matter your age, whether you’re a teenager or in your 30s. If you are in a long-term relationship with someone, it is the same. You will “calm down” with time. This is something that many young couples forget to realize. Dr. d’Felice said that many young couples get married after they have their children and then wonder why they don’t have as many sex while they’re still young. Long-term relationships are great because the partners know each others well and know what they like and dislikes. It’s easy to push the right buttons. Because they have been together for so long, they are comfortable around each other and can experiment with different “spicinesses” without embarrassment or fear. These spices can also increase the libido.
It’s what I want, but it isn’t for him/her!
In a couple, each partner will always want more than the others. There are many factors that can influence libido. These include stress, health, financial problems, and problems at work. “Relationships mean compromise. It is up to everyone to keep it that way. Dr. d’Felice explains that you can discuss sex as well as the family budget until you find a common denominator.
It’s not about blaming each other. Actually, it’s nobody’s fault. It’s not your fault. Talk about your feelings and be honest with yourself. “We don’t have sex as frequently as we used to and I fear that you don’t want me anymore!” This can be a good way to start a conversation. Do not dramatize the situation. Instead, say “We must talk now!” You can make your partner defensive and intimidate him.
I don’t want to be married/wives anymore!
Some people lose interest over time in their partner. “For a variety of reasons, it seems that your partner is losing interest in you. Think about how sexy and confident you feel before you make any decisions. Go out on the town. Follow your partner and follow others. What did he/she see in you? Are you a fan of him/her? Dr. Cecilia d’Felice advises that this trick will change your perception.